Enjoy AudioFile Magazine's latest review of one of my audiobooks:
 

BANANA by Dan Koeppel!

BANANA The Fate of the Fruit That Changed the World by Dan Koeppel | Read by Paul Woodson

The Universal Coffee Vortex

Setting: Land of Checagou

A Panera, a Starbucks, and a Peet’s directly alongside one another.

I’ve found the Coffee Vortex of the Universe, my comrades. They say no mere mortal ever returns.

It beckons, and I must follow. There is good chance you may never see my face again.

I do not advise coming to my rescue, but if you must pursue, bring a sawbuck to tip the ferryman to guide you across the River Styxigan Avenue (make sure to use the passphrase “Come Sail Away”), and I will find you when Hades and Persephone open at 5 am.

Fortitudo!

More on my APAC adventures to follow.

RUM SWIZZLES – What Are They, and Which Is Best?

 

–A Guest Post by Christine Woodson–

 

On a recent trip to Bermuda, and my very first time, I made it my personal mission, during my limited time on the island, to see which establishment made the best rum swizzle.  I visited three.
 
The Rum Swizzle, while many establishments have their own way of making it and their own secret ingredient, mostly consists of Black Rum, Gold Rum, Pineapple Juice, Orange Juice, Grenadine, and various other items depending on how you make or where you get it.

   

SWIZZLE INN – near Grotto Bay Resort

 

 
During my husband Paul’s research, we knew we were going to be going to the Swizzle Inn a few times as it's located just down the road from where we were staying.
 
The Swizzle Inn’s site says that Bermuda’s national drink originated here.  Their motto is “Swizzle Inn - Stagger Out!”.  Our first night in Bermuda, I tested out this theory of theirs.  Instead of a single glass of swizzle, Paul and I decided to go all in and ordered a pitcher of it.  Granted, he probably slugged back more than I, but I did my fair share.  It had not only the extra ingredients but a good amount of rum.  And I was “almost” staggering by the time I left the establishment.  Definitely had the tipsy going on.  

 
 

 
 
HOG PENNY PUB - Hamilton

 
On our second day in Bermuda, we ventured all over the place.  At the end of the day, we wound up in Hamilton.  We stopped by the Hog Penny Pub, another place Paul had researched.

Hog Penny’s website says that they had one of the best swizzles around.  Happy’s Famous Rum Swizzle (“Happy Jack” Godfrey’s original and highly secret recipe).  I was game.  While Paul ordered a beer, I asked the bartender for the Rum Swizzle.  In his very apparent British accent, he told me it was a good choice but also warned me that the mixologist did not make the best ones that day.  Another bartender, laughingly agreed with him and even went further to say that it had the essence of a cherry Hi-C.

I am not, by any means, a cherry person.  But I was still willing to give it a go.  The drink was poured, the straw put in place, and the drinking commenced.

The second bartender hit the nail on the head.  It DEFINITELY tasted like a cherry Hi-C.  It had been a long while since I have even HAD a cherry Hi-C, but that memory will always stay with you, no matter the experience.

While, cherry was not my favorite, I finished it nevertheless.  But with much less enthusiasm.  There was way, way more cherry flavor and hardly any rum.  In no way was I staggering.  Granted, I only had one drink but it was a pretty good sized glass.  Not even any vocal slurring.

To be fair, I was warned about the batch made for that day.  Would I give it another try?  Sure!


 

WHITE HORSE PUB & RESTAURANT – St. George

 

On our third day in Bermuda, we explored St. George and the surrounding area.  For dinner that evening, we went to the White Horse Pub & Restaurant.  The website says that their rum swizzle is Gosling’s secret recipe that will have you coming back for more…they promise.  Well, perhaps they shouldn’t make promises they cannot keep.  Okay, I’m not saying it was bad.  I did drink it, but it had more pineapple in it than rum.  You could barely taste the rum.

 

ASTORIA, QUEENS – PAUL’S RUM SWIZZLE JOURNEY

 

 
We had such a great time in Bermuda!  We enjoyed all of our adventures.  At the airport, we even went shopping at the Duty Free shop and picked up Black Rum and Swizzle Inn’s own “secret ingredients” package.  As an afterthought, we also bought their Rum Swizzle which comes already made for consumption.
 
After we arrived home, and since we were still on vacation, Paul made us homemade Rum Swizzles with the rum and packet of “secret ingredients”.  WOW!  In no way can I complain that it wasn’t strong.  He had picked up the 140 proof black rum!  That’s my husband! J  Over the week, he did perfect it with the additional fruit juices, which we switched to after we finished off the packet.  My honey does make a good Rum Swizzle!
   
 

WHICH WAS THE BEST ONE?

While each place had their own versions of Rum Swizzles, the Swizzle Inn was hands down the best!  While you could argue that we had ordered a pitcher, their glasses were small.  Two of their glasses equaled one glass from the other establishments.  Not only could you taste the rum in the drink, but there was a perfect blending of the ingredients within the cocktail.
 
This personal journey of tasting/testing one of Bermuda’s most famous cocktails was worth the headache that “may” have accompanied the first night ;)
 
Congratulations, Swizzle Inn!
 
- Christine Woodson 

Interviewed by Author D.P. Prior about my Audiobook Career, as well as the recording process of his new Fantasy novel, CARNIFEX: LEGENDS OF THE NAMELESS DWARF!

 

I had a great time recording the audiobook of CARNIFEX; hopefully you'll have an equally great time listening to my narration of it! Learn about the ins & outs of producing an audiobook, my history with accents, both acting and personal, and what it's like to voice a Scottish dwarf.

Read the interview HERE on D.P. Prior's Website

 

LISTEN to the Audio Sample from CARNIFEX here  

 

 

"SPRING" merges Linklater-style verbal romance with Lovecraftian weirdness

On the recommendation of a podcast, I just caught SPRING, a quirky, suspenseful romance with just a dash of horror.

I can't reveal too much without spoilers, but this indie, beautifully shot in Italy, is an understated gem. Don't let the "Horror" moniker fool you; although there are some grotesque moments, this is a Romantic Drama through and through. (And the "horror" parts are actually kind of sweet.)

 This scene, and SPRING itself, evokes BEFORE SUNRISE. Literally.

After the death of his mother, our downtrodden 20-something hero Evan (Lou Taylor Pucci) journeys to Italy seeking to find something to give his aimless life meaning again. After a series of twists and turns, he finds himself in a picturesque coastal Italian town, and falling under the charms of Louise (played by the utterly captivating Nadia Hilker). As they walk and talk and fall in love under the European twilight, Evan seems to have found his perfect mate. There's just one snag…

Basically, imagine a variation on BEFORE SUNRISE, except that Julie Delpy has a pretty important secret. (And it's probably not what you're thinking.)

I hope to see more of Ms. Hilker, who's German, in more English-language films very soon! She's in the next 2 Divergent films, so I guess there's that.

B+. Seek it out on DVD or various streaming services!

Also Read Rolling Stone's capsule review, which is in their "10 Best Horror of 2015". (Though again I admonish, "horror"? Is it, though? Welllll, a little bit, sorta…)